Do not give me a reason to dislike you. You have been warned.
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It wasn’t that she didn’t want to go to London. She just didn’t want to go when she knew Finn was upset with her. Or mad or disappointed or hated her, whatever. They were supposed to be happy when they reunited. This was far from happy. But she didn’t know what else to do. She had already apologized as many times as she could. Fuck, she had even told him that she loved him. What else did he want? She put her heart out on the line and, while he didn’t completely turn her away, he still didn’t take her back in. Maybe they just needed to see each other. Once he saw her, he wouldn’t be able to resist her and they’d fall into each other’s arms and… when the hell did she turn her life into a cheesy rom-com?
The plane ride sucked, to say the least. She had to listen to Puck blabber about Quinn - who also hated her at the moment. He was way too excited. But she was more jealous than annoyed. She wanted to be able to be that excited and happy but it was difficult when she was almost positive Finn would simply slam the door in her face. It hurt that they were all mad at her yet they seemed to have forgiven Puck. All she wanted was Finn back and she didn’t want to have to wait any longer.
When they got to the hotel, her nerves intensified. What if he refused to see her? What if he sent her back to the island with one of their guards? What if he sent her straight to his father? Before she could turn and ask Puck to talk her away, he was gone with Quinn. She flashed them a friendly smile before stepping into the room, closing the door behind her. It occurred to her that she could most likely easily run away. She could fuck one of the guards and get his secrecy and then leave. But no. She couldn’t do that. Not without Finn. She sat on the edge of what she assumed was his bed and stared at the floor, trying to force back her tears. The door opened and she jumped up, her fingers nervously playing with the hem of her shirt and her heart melting as she heard him call out her name. He wasn’t furious. Then she saw him and she swore her heart stopped. She fought the urge to run to him and wrap her arms around him and never let go. Instead, she stood there and shook her head, a tiny smile on her lips as the tears leaked from her eyes. “All I need is you.
Seeing her standing there, looking so small and sad and worried, any anger he may have had left dissipated instantly. He could see in her stance that she was nervous, that she was maybe afraid of him. He never wanted that. Sure, maybe in the beginning, fear may have been a good thing but things were beyond different now. Things were so different… He was still figuring things out, shuffling through his confusing feelings but he knew he loved her. And it was ridiculous to dwell on things that didn’t happen when there was enough to worry about already. Not to mention he missed her more than anything.
Noticing her tears, Finn moved forward - neither fast nor slow, just moving. The smile, her words, pushed him closer and he wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace, chocolates still gripped in one hand but forgotten. Breathing her in and letting his heart readjust to her closeness, Finn leaned down into the hold and whispered, “I’m so sorry.” His heart was pounding painfully. “I didn’t mean to not talk to you. I wasn’t off having a grand ol’ time or sleeping with anyone, I was trying to forget how much I missed you.” He wasn’t sure it made sense to anyone else, but he’d get lost in trying to distract himself. Which is exactly what happened as he tried to distract himself from being away from the girl. “I just… I went and wandered the city, doing nothing and thinking about nothing because that’s what I do. I just ignore things I don’t like.” He jumped and pulled back to look her in the eye. “I wasn’t ignoring you, just the pain. Not you.” Pausing, he watched her a moment, guilt now rising again as his own anger and hurt subsided in her presence. “I love you.”
(Source: franken-master-finn)
Finn had just stepped into the hotel lobby when Puck let him know they were on their way and would be there soon. He didn’t return to his room though. He wandered about the expansive hotel for a bit. For some reason he didn’t want to be there when Puck showed up, sure to have a sweet reunion with Quinn. That wasn’t something he wanted to watch, he wanted to forget about those two and just remember Santana. Santana. His insides squirmed and warmed and he hated the confusing feeling. He’d think of her and remember her smile, her shining eyes, her voice but then he’d be assaulted with images of her smirking down at Puck, her eyes closing in pleasure, her voice… those moans…
Heart squeezing painfully in his chest, Finn found himself in a gift shop of sorts and started absently pacing the isles. ‘It was all an act,’ he’d tell himself. ‘She was drunk and mad and hurting.’ And it was his fault really. He’d gone off to escape his loneliness and got lost, not even sending her so much as a text. Guilt coiled in his gut once more at the thought. He tried to allow that guilt to wash away the hurt but it was difficult. Santana had slept with Puck before and the mere mention of it… His beautiful image of her was tarnished by the thought of them. He didn’t hate her nor really blame her for it, his mind was just rebelling. He had wanted space but now he wasn’t sure what good that’d do. Space did this to them and the longer he was away from her, the heavier his heart became. He needed to see her, to see that pure beauty again and let it outshine the fears and hurt in his head.
He loved her. He couldn’t lose her. Spotting a box of luxury chocolates, he picked them up, bought them, and headed straight for his room. Coming to his door, he was sure they’d been there, that his brother had taken the blonde off somewhere else. Taking a deep breath, he gently opened the door. “Santana?” he called out softly. Spotting her, his heart quite literally skipped a beat. Eyes fixed on her, he lifted the chocolates. “I got us something.”
I just assumed the worst. I’m used to guys cheating on me so I just.. yeah.. I’m sorry.
I didn’t mean to make you think that and I wouldn’t do that. You need to start trusting me, Tana, if this - us - is going to work.
I am a bitch. What I did was completely uncalled for.. I can’t wait to see you..
You may do bitchy things, but it’s not who you are. And maybe I should have tried to communicate with you more, but… Yeah, me neither.
I don’t know! I just.. I don’t want you to be mad at me. I can’t deal with you not talking to me or whatever.. not again. I just want everything to be okay. And I know it won’t be because I’m a bitch and I fucked up and I just want to make it better..
…I don’t want that either. That’s why I’m not running off to get lost in the city right now. I want to work this out, I do, I just don’t know what to do. …You’re not a bitch, San. And maybe if I just see you… Maybe it’ll stop the other images in my head.
I know.. I just.. maybe tonight isn’t good for us to see each other. Maybe you need some more time to cool down.
When would be a good night then, huh? I’m not going to hurt you, Santana. And I don’t know if I’ll “cool down” much more for awhile. I don’t even know what would cool me down.
